worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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