He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
