The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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