my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
