I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
