i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
