Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need moral support for this bender
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
