I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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