Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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