covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
