Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
