wat bout pragnant strippers??
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
