She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
