I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
