so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
