guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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