A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
