youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
