It's Friday. Sex?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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