3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So much Jack, so little girl.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
