Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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