we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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