Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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