i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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