There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
