yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
