i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
