He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
