I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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