dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
