Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
