i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
