You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
