Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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