my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
