I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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