giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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