Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
found the other keg... it's in the tree
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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