I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
