no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
True strength comes from lack of pants
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
