Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
