there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
