i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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