We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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