So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
