I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
