Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
