If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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