My friends, they love my intelligence
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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