Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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