just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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