3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
please come you make the beer taste better
time to smoke my breakfast
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
