im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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