Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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