i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Shame is for Republicans.
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