I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
