actually, I'm a sock model
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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