don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
