Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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